band

At a bonfire this weekend surrounded by some of my closest “band” friends I realized how much band has impacted my high school career.

From the first day of rookie camp to the last day of your senior year, band is a part of every single day. You create friendships and relationships that change you as a person. You become a family.

Band teaches you life lessons. Band teaches you to work as a team. To multi-task. That early is on time, on time is late, and being late is something you shouldn’t be. That if you take things one step at a time you’ll eventually master it and overcome your problems. You also learn to read music which is like another language. Band programs your mind to think a different way.  

But one thing I’ve realized the most is that everyone in band including myself complaints about band all the time, but the truth is most of us would be completely different people without band. Most of us would miss it if we quit like we say we are going to do all the time. I have no clue where I would be without band, the people I have made friendships with and the lessons I have learned. I truly do not regret my decision for joining band even if I act like I hate it all the time.

Anxiety

Mental health awareness week was 2 weeks ago and I decided to talk about what it’s like living with a severe anxiety disorder.

Living with anxiety is constantly thinking someone is talking about you

Living with anxiety is being scared of everything especially the things you can’t control

Living with anxiety is needing constant reassurance from the people in your life that you aren’t being annoying, and that they don’t hate you

Living with anxiety is always have a nauseous worried feeling in your gut

Living with anxiety is staying up till 4 am because your mind is running 20 miles an hour

Living with anxiety is thinking negatively about yourself

Living with anxiety is having your friends think you are crazy

Living with anxiety is not wanting to get out of bed some mornings because it feels like the weight of a thousand elephants is sitting on your chest but freaking out because if you don’t get out of bed you might fail your class, so you get out of bed anyway.

Living with anxiety is panic attacks when you’re hanging out with friends and overthinking something that happened 5 years ago, or panic attacks at 2 am in your dark room.

Living with anxiety is not being able to sit still, and always fidgeting.

Living with anxiety is faking a smile even when you aren’t okay.

Living with anxiety is a living hell, a war within your mind.

Don’t grow up, it’s a trap

Since a young age, we have all said millions of times before that we can’t wait to grow up. Well, I don’t think I’m the only one who is really missing having no cares in the world and being a little kid.
We have all grown up a lot and can probably agree it isn’t as great as it looked when we were 8. Most of us can drive, have jobs and are slowly becoming independent and supporting ourselves. We have so much more responsibilities now than before. Our parents aren’t hovering over us all the time now.                                                                          And to make all of this even more stressful, in the next 2 years, we will be turning 18, graduating high school, hopefully, because sometimes that looks like a long shot. We will be applying for colleges, and having to figure out what we want to do with the rest of our lives. I don’t know about you but all of that sounds pretty scary to me.

 

Bucket list

This is my Bucket list as of 16. This is a really random post but it’s all I could come up with.

  • Hug a koala
  • Go to Disneyland
  • Have my future told to me by a fortune teller ( just for fun)
  • Live in a different country ( for at least 6 months)
  • Visit all 50 states
  • Go to Niagra Falls
  • See all 7 wonders of the world
  • Graduate college
  • Go to Australia
  • Swim with dolphins
  • See the Northern Lights
  • Visit Europe (most of Europe)
  • Donate blood
  • Adopt
  • Serve in a charity organization in a 3rd world country
  • Go whale watching
  • NYC on New Year’s, and Thanksgiving
  • Get a tattoo
  • Ride an elephant
  • Ride a gondola in Italy

Being left handed

Being left handed sucks. The desk are made for right handed people. Notebooks. Writing neat with a gel pen is nearly impossible. Scissors don’t even get me started. Most manual pencil sharpeners are installed on walls for right handed people. Just tools in general. Doctors want to give shots and take blood from your left arm because most people need their right arm more but that’s not the case for people who are left handed, if you don’t speak up you can end up with a tingling numb arm and it sucks to write. Another problem especially growing up the teacher would put a lefty next to a right handed person at a table in class and you would have to ask to be moved because you would be bumping Each other non stop. I don’t think people realize how many things are made for right handed people.