I DON’T KNOW

I have hit a point in my life where I just don’t know what I want. Last week I was called down into the guidance office for a credit check. The counselor did the normal run through of the; classes I have taken. She told me that I only need .25 of a credit to graduate next year. She then asked the question that has been hovering over me for the last several months that I just can’t seem to answer; What do you want to do when you leave here? My reaction to this question… I laughed. I began to tell her that I thought working with kids is something that I have always thought about doing. That psychology sounded cool, I always have thought to learn about the way people behave and why they do the things they do sound really interesting. I also told her that I love history and thought about being a 5th-grade history teacher. She went on to tell me different careers I could pursue and classes to take for next year. I walked out of the credit check with an even bigger cloud over me, and I’ll I could say is I don’t know.

To be completely honest I have no clue what I want to do once I’m done with highschool. Just the thought of graduating high school makes me anxious. I want to accomplish so much in life. I want to travel the world, engulf myself in new cultures, learn new languages, try weird foods and meet amazing new people. I want to go to college, graduate, get a job and make it into a career that I love, so I never work a day in my life. Get married, have and adopt children. Be able to give my kids that best life possible. Make enough money and not struggle like my parents. But where to start all of this I have no clue. This is where the “ I don’t know” comes in. What career path should I take? where should I go to college at? Do I travel or go to college first? My answer to all of these questions right now: I DON’T KNOW. I don’t know who I am yet. Or what my why is yet.

The fact that we have to figure most of this out within the next year and a half is very scary. I feel like I only started high school yesterday.  Time flies in high school and I have realized that Growing up sucks. I wish I would have not stressed the last 3 years as much as I did and just lived because before I know it ill being walking across stage with a cap and gown on and the rest of my childhood will be over with and my new and most stressful part of my life will begin and I’m not sure I’m ready.download-4

“Happy Friday! What We All Want in Life!” Jelanie. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2016.